I don't like to sleep alone

I'm in my blues again. Today we had a lecture on Personality Disorders, and amicably all my colleagues have been labelling one another with different personality disorders that they could come across.

If I were to pick one colour that would really describe what I feel inside, I would pick Black. Not that I'm obsessed with the colour black; black, because there's an emptiness inside that I could not really fill up. Now I think I am nuts.

I've been spending a few nights pondering bout life and existence. Why am I here? What am I supposed to do with my life? Why does the decisions I make in my own life will affect other people around me? Why? Why? Why?

Anyway, I just noticed something; there are already 12 "I"s here.

Freud did say conflicts occur because there is a discord between one's ego and his superego. I'm not really a psychoanalyst, but I somehow agree to it. There is a conflict within me, that I do not comprehend, and that I could not put reins around it. Still. some suggests that using "we", instead of "I", would make one a little more harmonious with oneself and the people around him. Yet, how could I use "we" when I'm merely myself? I wouldn't wanna make people think that I am really that schizo. Ok, what the heck? I don't know what I'm yakking now.

Today I heard Paul Anka on the radio with Odia Coates, with his hit "I don't like to sleep alone". I kinda like this song, and the lyrics are melancholic enough to milk my tears. Maybe I'm really such a grey person.

I don't like to sleep alone

Stay with me, don't go

Talk with me for just a while

So much of you to get to know

Reaching out touching you

Leaving all the worries far behind

Loving you the way I do

My mouth on yours and yours on mine

Marry me, let me live with you

Nothing's wrong and love is right

Like a man said in his song

"Help me make it through the night"

Loneliness can get you down

When you get to thinkin' no one cares

Lean on me (And I'll lean on you)

Together we will see it through

No, I don't like to sleep alone

It's sad to think some folks do

No, I don't like to sleep alone

No one does

Do you

Well, I'm used to sleeping alone now.