Gay Men and Gay Sex

I read an web article on 5 ego boosts a straight men needs in a relationship. Funny. I think it applies on all gay men though. Here's my modified version of 5 ego boosts a gay men needs in a relationship.

1. Men are afraid that they will let you down, on or off the bed.

Can't agree even more. There's one ancient Chinese philosophy that sings, "All men are born evil." Ask yourself. Are you not a son-of-a-bitch who (i) mechanically set your eyes on any pretty (boyish) faces that walks before you; (ii) gets a boner when you see some naked men; (iii) fantasizes about guys that you'll never get on bed with; (iv) flirt with other men when you have an opportunity; even if you already have a partner?

For those who earnestly admit you are one, at least you are an honest bastard.

For those who deny all of above, you are a dishonest bastard.

That explains the commitment thingee. Gay men cannot/do not/would not commit because they simply know that they have other available choices. It sounds harsh and mean, but hey! trust me, you are just one of the nice pair of shoes on a rack. Probably he is just trying which one fits him even better; and by the time he's over with you, you'll end up loose and devalued.

Anyway, back to the point again. Commitment is a no-no thingee for gay men (unless he's already old, fat and bald) because they know they will let their partner down, on or off the bed. So, what should you do? Give him time and space, and privacy too. Don't lock him, release him. No matter how far he wanders, if he loves you, he'll definitely go back to you. (THE SAME PRINCIPLE APPLIES ON YOU TOO!)

2. Men need to know if they are doing it right

The hard and fast rule for gay sex is a gay man only feels like a Super(gay)man if he satifies you, and it doesn't matter what roles he is playing. They say, "No encouragement means no joy'. I say, "Moan as loud as you can, god-damn-it! But never. never, never fake it!" If you don't enjoy it, why do it? Duhh.

3. Men don't like waiting too long to have sex with a new partner

Undeniably true.

OK. I see that you are a virgin. You've been saving your tight butt all these while for the right perfect prince to poke it. So??? Who cares?

We know men are more willing to commit if a relationship involves sex, and it is vital that they knows you appreciate them as sexy and attractive. Well, would you want to dump someone who finds you fuckingly hot and can't get his hands off you?

Anyway, about the virgin thingee. If you aren't a virgin anymore, then act like one. Nobody knows. Period. I renew my virginity everyday. *wink*

4. Men wish they have better bodies too

All gay men worry bout their image. Don't you too? Anyway, we all worry.

Just accept him from what he is. Show him affection. He may not have a gigantic pecker, but least he has a great heart.

5. Men will not forgive a cheating boyfriend

It's ovbvious. Men, although have no loyalty towards their partners, look for loyalty in other men. Irony. Men do not give out commitment, but they seek commitment from their partners. Double the irony.

Be smart. Make it obvious that you are loyal to him (although you are really not). Support and defend him when necessary. And please be smart enough not to let him find out that you're cheating behind him!

"...well. All gay men want commitment, yet in a different package..."

YK aka Junior

Last weekend was pretty boring. I should have been doing my revision for my Orthopaedics EOP exams but I went to watch The Pink Panther on Saturday night instead! Oh, for the 24th time today, there ain't no PINK PANTHER in that movie! Right. Where was I?

Oh, I've no idea what I should whine about today, but let's do something a little bit different, ought we not? Okay, today we have a special guest with us. I'm not sure if you folks are familiar with him (I'm not familiar with him either), but let me throw ya some light.

Personal Data:

Name: Junior Age: 22 Sex: Male Occupation: Undergraduate Scum(and a ego-terrorist) Status: Unknown and Deadly Last Spotted: In Kota Bharu

Junior, currently lost from action, is believed to be hiding himself in a clandestine spot somewhere at the southern tip of this country. Intelligence reports have attempted yet failed to dig out any news or recent information about this mysterious guy. Nonetheless, I managed to pick up something bout him. It ain't that useful, but beggars can't be choosers, eh?

The latest piece of info we had received bout him now is he smokes. The reason is still unclear, but we figure that the cigarette fumes that he puffs have been actually ingeniously bio/chemo-modified into a slow-acting poison that either kills you, or makes you retarded.

Our residential forensic psychiatric panelist have been vividly trying to profile him, yet the picture is still vague. What is clearly known is that he is a pervert, does not look friendly, nor talks nicely. Still, some say that he is actually docile and harmless. (Hmmm. A toad looks awful but isn't really awfui) Nonetheless, what we REALLY know that he is LETHAL when PROVOKED.

Actually... he reminds me of... Wolverine.

< -- Not this Wolverine, you ninny!

THIS Wolverine!!! -->

Thailand 2005

Ommigosh, I forgot that I went backpacking in May 2005! Here are some bits and pieces of juicy memory from the trip.

Taken at the Wat Arun (Temple of Dawn) in Bangkok. It's located at the opposite bank of Bangkok's metropolical nexus. The whole thing was built and stacked up with chinaware (fragmented). Either the King had porcelain fetish, or he's merely recycling those broken bowls and plates that he had bought from China.

Well, this old steam locomotive we found it somewhere next to the Phitsanulok station. It's merely a small town serving as the major vegetables collection center before they get transported to Thailand.

Well, standing and posing on the Kanchanaburi's Death Railway, made famous by the movie Bridge Over River Kwai. During WW2, prisoners of war were captured and coerced to build this railway track from Kanchanaburi to somewhere in Burma. Well, lots of people died of course. A tragic story.

Well, on the streets on Bangkok there are bushes of mini-elephants. Cute, so we took a snapshop of each of them, since Thailand is rather infamous of its elephants (and also con-men).

Hellfire Pass. Another fragment of the WW2 tragedy in Kanchanaburi. Prisoners of war were also made to dig up this pass. Sigh.

Another famous landmark in Ayuthaya Historical Park. Somehow the head of a Buddha's figure landed up under a tree and its roots entwine around it. Cute.

An old stupa ruin in Ayuthaya Historical Park. This site was actually photographed in Mortal Kombat, the movie. You know, the place where they battled each other and where there are 3 huge stupas... Sigh, forget it. Nobody knows.

Well, this corn-like pagoda is another landmark in Ayuthaya Historical Park. We actually sneaked in without paying the entrance fee, since we got fedup of paying RM3 for every single landmark in the park. That's bloody slaughter! You have gotta be smart if you wanna survive in this cruel world!

Well, a sign of victory after an ardious hike up the pagoda. There's actually a tomb in the heart of the pagoda, but it was already sacked by grave diggers and all was lost. Sigh. Greed.

A photo on Chiang Mai's old ruins. This wall was supposed to protect Chiang Mai from its enemies. It did, for a few decades, before it succumbed to age. Now it's just a demarcation for old and new Chiang Mai. What is nice is that you sit on top of it and admire the tranquility of the city and its marvellous sunset (of course when it's not scorching hot and the air is clean!)

Her Royal Majesty's Rose Garden in Phuphing Winter Palace ,Chiang Mai. Well, believe it or not, the entire hill is filled with ROSES! All sorts of roses! Well, the queen loves roses, so they gave her all the roses and made stupid tourist pay RM10 to visit it. How smart.

One special characteristic of Sukhothai Historical Park's Buddha figuerine is that of the Walking Buddha. I can't find it in somewhere else. Hmm.

King Ramkamkhaeng's statue in the middle of Sukhothai National Park. Legend said that he was a wise ruler who actually brought the Sukhothai kingdom to its height during his reign. After his death, the Burmese kingdom, like usual, sacked it of it's gold and riches.

Well. At the airport, before departing to Thailand. I must have got it jumbled. Well, glad that I've made it. 23 days of backpacking in Thailand sure has made me grown up a little. So what's next? Lots of plans, but no holidays for me.

An Occupational Therapist's Life

Yesterday we had an excursion in the Occupational Therapy department. Lots of gadgets, lots of toys, lots of fun. Here's a simple narration on what we had done.

This so call xxxxxx-therapy machine (can't remember the name) is simply gorgeous. Slip your arm into it, and you'll feel the heat waves turbulencing around your arm. Actually there's bits and pieces of dry wood powder. They use this thingee to warm up your joints and ease up the pain in the arm. Hmm....

Next, we have this electrical muscle stimulator (on the right) which sends tolerable electrical impulses into your nerves and causes muscular contraction. Sounds dangerous but it's actually pretty safe... and thrilling. You can actually feel your muscle kinking and jerking, involuntarily!

Waxy fingers. You dip ya fingers into one hot cauldron of wax for 7 times, let the caramel-like wax engulf your hand, slip it into a warm bag and enjoy the heat! It's supposed to loosen up your stiffened joints with heat.

The girl in the pressure garment. Well. It's supposed to exert pressure on the scars so they won't grow haphazardly leaving you an ugly face.

Playing with splints. Thanks to Ms. Anna, the occupational therapist, who's on my left, for her patience and guidance, we manufactured our own splints. (Err... although they are a little bit cacat, but consider pass la). Well... the splints are all in pink! Not that we are having our pink fetish again, it's just that the material involved is in pink.

Poor Lalitha in her rigid collar neck splint. It actually made her look taller! ------------------->

<------ And Kia Sing with his extensor dynamic splint. Looks cool, eh?

You're beautiful

Guys using makeup. Period.

50 Most Beautiful Guys in Universe, 1997

Honestly I'm kinda orthodox; it's still hard for me to really empathize those who uses makeup, or to accept them. Nonetheless... Come to think of it. Who doesn't want to be beautiful... or er... good looking?

Let's be truthful. The first few things we scrutinize when we set our eyes on an individual is his looks, his body mass, and his clothings. Cephalocaudo- and then caudocephalically we scan him; either we get mesmerized by his good appearance, or we feel distasteful for his not-so-good appearance. Isn't that unfair? Well. I do that kind of primary survey too, althought I try my best not to.

I've set my eyes onto lots of people before, yet I know they aren't meant for me. So, what's the point hanging onto them?

Let's try defining SUFFERING. Suffering is an inevitable aftermath of DESIRE. To make things simpler, when we desire something, undeniably we try our best to attain it. Then here's the problem. If you don't get it, definitely you'll suffer! Yet, if you get it, you'll suffer more when you lose it! Confusing, eh?

So, what's next? There are numerous things that we desire. However what differs is that we do not REQUIRE all of 'em, so, we prioritize our desires. In example, Rickie's list of desires(according to priority): Health, Career/Ambitions, Family, Friends, Love/Relationship, Wealth, etc..

I am healthy, except for some irrevocable pathologies that I've been sustaining over the years, congenital or not. My career/studies are lovely; I'm doing fine and there's nothing much to worry (hopefully). My family and friends care a lot for me, and most of them stand by me in whatever decisions I choose. Well, love and wealth doesnt mean much to me anyway. *shrugs shoulders*

Now, back to the main topic. BEAUTIFUL GUYS. Well, it's nice to have one for your own, but it's so damn hard to afford one. Thus, no point wasting my time on one.

My life is brilliant, my love is pure
I saw an angel of that I'm sure
He smiled at me on the subway
He was with another man
But I won't lose no sleep on that
'Cause I've got a plan

Yeah, he caught my eye as we walked on by
He could see from my face that I was fucking high
And I don't think that I'll see him again
But we shared a moment that will last till the end

You're beautiful. You're beautiful
You're beautiful, it's true
I saw your face in a crowded place and I don't know what to do
'Cause I'll never be with you

You're beautiful. You're beautiful
You're beautiful, it's true
There must be an angel with a smile on his face
When he thought up that I should be with you
But it's time to face the truth I will never be with you

Its all about bones.

"Bones. Bones. Bones. It's all about bones. That's orthopaedics", that's what people would say. Well. I don't think so. 4 weeks in Orthopaedics pinpointed to me that it ain't easy and yet pretty mundane sometimes.

Me and my buddy Shah went over to OT on Friday and witnessed a total joint replacement/ arthroplasty. The whole thingee was kind of cool, but the whole banging, drilling, screwing and sawing reminds me of something else. Carpentry.

Orthopaedic surgeons, to me, are more like carpenters or mechanics. They use more tools than surgeons and honestly they earn more!

Well, the banging and sawing did not impress me much.I like the blood and gore. Ok. That's it. I'm not an orthopaedic guy.

What made me almost puked was this. Next door there was this girl who suffered an open fracture in an accident and was sent to a local district hospital. I do not know what happened there in Bintangor, but she was dismissed. DISMISSED?!?!? With an open fracture?!? (Unofficial sources reported that the dumb MO was a graduate from UM).

Later 2 months she developed an awful wound infection and her mother threatened to sue that bloody medical officer for negligence. Intriguing.

Oh damnit. I can't shake off the image of that filthy pus-sy bloody gory wound! Yucks.

On the other hand... in the paeds... I saw this. Hanging by a moment.

Well, That's what you get when you don't listen to what Mommy told ya!

I'll try to dig up more stuffs.

Flu sucks.

I skipped ward or the OT last night. I was sick; my head weighed almost like a ton and my nasal cavities were (and still are) flooded with nose juices, the greenish slimy type! And I coughed like hell. Blame it all on the weather! I had too much BBQ-ed food on Sat Night's ChapGohMeh partyyyy, plus all that screeching and laughing (and most of all lounging in the chilly air-conditioned room watching some freakin' subtitle-less Thai horror movie). Oh gosh, it's killin' me softly.

Last night was Valentine's Day and it so sodding boring. I practically din't know what to do. I don feel like studying, nor playing. So I laid on the bed, procrastinating and sending sms-es to people in my phone. Yet, everyone was busy dating! Shit! I've never felt that bored in my life. It seemed that time halted at that moment. Freakin' scary!

I hate flu. I hate flu. I hate flu. But most of all, I hate Mr. Kiasu-s!

20 Love Songs To Celebrate A Lonely Valentine Night

Surgeons always dress themselves in blue. That's something I can't figure the reason of it. Intriguing.

I plan to spend my Valentine's Day in the ward, waiting for any infatuated lovebirds to end up in a motor-vehicle accident and subsequently get themselves admitted into my orthopaedic ward. It's so fucking mean I know, but accidents do happen, whether we want it or not.

I'm bringing my Walkphone along in case I get bored; it may be so unfortunate that there could be no admissions at all. Yet, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Come to Dada, my precioussssssss. Give me a busy night so I won't feel alone.

Well, for those who will be spending their Valentines in solitude, here are 10 tear-jerking songs for ya!

1. I'll say goodbye to love - The Carpenters.
2. Sometimes when we touch - Dan Young.
3. Broken-hearted me - Ann Murray.
4. Nothing's gonna change my love for you - George Benson.
5. On my own - Les Miserables OST.
6. Will you love me tomorrow - The Shirelles.
7. Against all odds - Phil Collins.
8. Wishing on a star - Rose Royce.
9. How do you mend a broken heart - Michael Buble.
10. I know I'll never love this way again - Diane Warwick.
11. If I never see you again - Wetwetwet.
12. How do I live - Trisha Yearwood.
13. First cut is the deepest - Sheryl Crow.
14. Especially for you - Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan.
15. All out of love - OTT.
16. Yesterday - Beatles.
17. What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted - Jimmy Ruffin.
18. Emotions - Samantha Sang.
19. End of the world - Skeeta Davis.
20. The closer I get to you - Roberta Flack and Donny Hathaway.
    

Well, I can't help it if your heart is made of stone. *shrugs shoulders*

Happy Valentines Day

Some old friend popped up a question at me when we had midnight tea some time during the CNY festive season.

"Rickie, are you still single like always? Why don't cha get someone?" She asked me.

I didn't know what to answer. I don't know what my answers are.

My last relationship ended 10 months ago from today. (Eyes on his watch again) Yup, 10 months ago.

I was never really prepared for a relationship. Yet, it comes again and again after I was picked up and put down again and again. Like a vicious circle of pandemonium, yet I pulled through, with 3rd degree burn scars. From the first one till the last one I scrutinized their natural history, "Ridiculous", that's the only word I can think of.

I never really needed one?!?! Did I not?

At times, I feel so lonely that I can feel the chill of the wind wriggling down into my coccyx, yet it was just a moment. A microsecond, yet seemed like forever when you are so bored that you have nothing else distracting you from being lonely.

I remember this song. A song that reminds me of someone. What's ironic is that I miss his presence althought I make myself stop remember his face. Well, I know I'll never love this way again. :)

You looked inside my fantasies
And made each one come true
Something no one else
Had ever found a way to do
I've kept the mem'ries one by one
Since you took me in
And I know I'll never love this way again

A fool will lose tomorrow
Reachin' back for yesterday
I won't turn my head in sorrow
If you should go away
I'll stand here and remember
Just how good it's been

And I know I'll never love this way again
I know I'll never love this way again
So I keep holdin' onBefore the good is gone
I know I'll never love this way again
Hold on, hold on, hold on

Happy Valentines Day, Rickie.

See what Madam Zelda's gotta say

2006 Fortune Prediction for RcKs

This happens to be my own prediction of my own fortune this year

Health

Old ails still bring troubles, yet do keep in mind for new ones to come. Avoid drugs, alcohol & sex. Mind your eating habits. There do be no use of a sick doctor anywhere.

Career

Hard work bears sweet fruits. Like usual, avoid too much procrastination (althought you should indulge in it once in a while) All play and no study makes Rickie a naughty boy!

Love

Stranded in such a hostile territory reduces your chances of finding someone good. Well, the good ones are aldy taken, and what's left are the bad ones. Better chances next year?

Finance

Spend your money wisely. Avoid extravaganzas as they will bring you down, of course unless you have found yourself a rich sugar mommy.

CNY Gathering 2005 - PINK

Ommigosh. Pink is the word.

For those who dressed yourselves in PINK while attending the CNY gathering at my place, I salute you.

For those who didn't, I am so ashamed of you!!!

Well, 5 years since Form 5, and 3 years since Form 6. I gasp at how swift time creeps away from our grasp. There are some of us who have already graduated, and there are some of us who still must linger on in our college/varsity, before we finally start to earn some bucks. (Please belanja me when you have already got your first monthly income!)

I can't describe the cocktail of emotions I felt when I met my old long lost buddies during CNY this year.

• Happy to know that we are still so close, being able to laugh and joke, like the old days
• Proud to know that they are doing well in their respective career and studies
• Sad to know that our lives are no longer congruent, and that there ain't not much chance for us to sit down and giggle together

Anyway, I do KNOW that you folks came to my house just because of my MOM's cakes, since you all whalloped 70% of my stores! Haha. See ya ladies next year.

Cheers to the year of the PINK dog!

Rcks.