A lil' country... and a lil' rock and roll.

The things what we want isn't always within our reach, that is for sure. And the things that we want may not want us as well.

Once in a while I actually do contemplate again and again my decision of coming over to Sarawak to study, and yes I know there's no point crying over spilled milk, but hey, can't a man be a lil' melancholic sometimes?

Being in Sarawak has already deprived me of my opportunity to be with my best-est friends, I would say, although I do have tons of fabulous new friends here. When you are away from home, you tend to miss the usual stuffs that you had been doing all the time before leaving home. All those familiar faces have defamiliarize with time, and so do those fading memories that we shared. Neh... that's a norm. Oh, get used to it Rickie.

Well, all the better fishes are all at the other side of the sea, if you know what I mean. At times I do get pissed off since all the guy that I like are either one of these genre.

1. He likes me too, but too bad he's already with some other guy.
2. He likes me too, but he's at the end of the other half of this planet.
3. He doesn't like me, and he toys with my feelings.

Yes I know it's a normal thing. Big deal. Probably everyone encounters that in their lives too, but still I think it's too fucking frequent, that I hate my own life. I wonder who controls my life. God, me or something else?

Everyone sees me smiling and laughing, but ffew knows what's hiding behind that jovial expression. I don't believe in channeling my anger onto others; it's a stupid thing, and I don't usually do it, unless I am disinhibited. I just keep my melancholy within myself, I sulk and sing in the room until Morpheus takes over my consciousness. Still, in the presence of others, I try to keep up my mood and be as friendly as ever. Nonethess, my friends do know I enjoy being left alone when I'm not in the mood, since I would be a little anhedonic then.

And oh, there's this little kid who recommended a song to me, claiming that song is his favourite piece - Beautiful Life, by the Afters. Well, kiddo, 10 years ago I am into Alternative Pop/Rock, but it's way past my age. Now I'm a lil' country, and a lil' rock and roll.