Hmm.. 2 weeks since my last blog. Sorry for the delay. I just came to realize that my parasitic faculty happened to tumpang guna Sibu Hospital's internet connection; as a result for that, the Hospital director was so pissed off that he severed the lines the following week.
Sigh. No more internet for me to abuse.
Things are going pretty fine. My surgical examination was pretty tough, but I think I'll pull through, I hope.
Long Case
This old ah-mu was lying comfortably on the bed, half dozing, before I ruined her morning. I shaked her a little and told her I would wanna clerk and examine her.
"Ah-mu, eh hiau tia hokkien bo? (Do you understand Hokkien?)" I asked politely.
She stared at me.
"Ah-mu, eh hiao tia hokkien bo?" I yelled, assuming she was partially deaf.
She shaked her head. "Wah see teochiew nang."
"WTF?!?" I had to agree since Teochiew was rather similar to Hokkien dialect. Sigh. Bad luck.
"Ah-mu... lee hamik beh? (Are you sick?)" I started asking, positiong my fingers into a tripod grip so as to jot down whatever she tried to say. Time is precious. 20 minutes clerking, maximum.
"Saya sihat." She answered in Malay. Saya tak sakit."
"WTF (x20) !?!?!?" I almost had a syncope. "Awak tak sakit? Kenapa masuk hospital?"
"Nadai. Akljdf&%(asi*og576hjig afnl*12^ksjasffg&5 ." She answered in Iban.
"Ya allah." I sped towards to the attending administrative staff, informing them that my patient is not fit for clerking because she is dementic. She answers me in Malay when I query her in Hokkien. Worst of all, she answers me in Iban when I used Malay instead! Then she claims that she has no sickness! What on earth is this?
Yet, they reassured me that just one someone had managed to clerk her with success.
"Shit." I whispered and trudged to her bed again. "Oh fuck me this time."
"Saya batuk sahaja." She answered to my questioning again.
"APA!?!? BATUK? Sik ada muntai darah ka? Sakit perut? Berak keluar darah? Kencing pedis? Kembang?" I yelled.
I think I had angina when I saw her atlanto-axial joint rotating. Why is a cough patient doing in a surgical ward?
"Ah-mu, kitak batuk darah ka?" I bombarded her again.
"Nadai." She answered again, in Iban. "Batuk mimek mimek."
"Holy shit." I gripped my knuckles and strived to restrict myself from strangling this poor old lady. Stop fooling around. You've wasted 10 minutes aldy! I think I'm dead. I almost dropped dead.
"Bukanlah. Dia masuk kerana malaena." Someone interrupted from nowhere.
I lifted my head, and saw a student nurse writing her clinical report near my patient. She heard me screeching at the patient, and I guess in her curiosity, came to find out what was the commotion about.
"Alhamdulilah". I exclaimed.
The student nurse went and grabbed the case notes and started to pouring me information about the patient.
Clarification: 4 reasons why it does not count as cheating.
- I did not ask her to take the case notes.
- I questioned the patients, but she replied instead.
- I did not pay her anything.
- I do not know her and am not related to her.
Thus, techinically, it does not count as CHEATING!
Aftermath: It ain't my fault! Haha. Don't blame me because I'm handsome!
*Anyway, I still screwed up my long case at the viva session. Sigh.
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